Emerging from the pit of traveling adjustments

Feeling like a terrible person, since the first time I'm getting on this blog this week is simply to look at a recipe in which I already converted the measurements. (I know, I'm a terrible person.) However, I do have the joy of telling you that pretty soon, I'm going to have a ton of new recipes, thanks to something I've been calling "Ultra-Uber Russia Day". I'm planning on making, well, pretty much everything ever-- and most of it freezes well, from what I've read. Exciting times, exciting times.

Also, now that I'm adjusted to the difference and life appears to have stopped eating me, I can finally start putting up all that delayed content. True, it's depressing when the phrase "Hyperbole and a Quarter" ends up being an accurate description of my blog-- the description, after all, is talking about how I'd be going to two different countries for two semesters, and that is not true (stupid visa issues)-- but still, I want to at least finish it off right by putting up the rest of the museum reviews.

Anyways, I couldn't help but put up a post here to appease my guilty conscience; once the recipes are posted and the content finally reviewed, this blog will be at an end. But that's not going to happen for a while; at the very least, this blog will live until Sunday comes. So, here I am, proving that I am 1) not dead, and 2) not traveling. Life is in order, it seems.

A note from my plush hotel room

If you couldn't guess from the title, this is the end of my semester. Sad, but true. Goodbye to the Judo crowd; goodbye to my Russian friends. Yet, at the same time, goodbye to Russian winter (yup, giving it a bad rap again), goodbye to home drama (yes, there was plenty of that; not worth mentioning on the internet, though), and goodbye to blank stares, questioning faces, and little girls who have never seen Americans before. (Apparently, two of us make a unicorn, and cause an entire group to chitter away while staring at us in awe. It's like finding a unicorn den filled with rainbows and watching to see if they'll backflip and shoot sparkle laser beams from their eyes. North Korea would know the answer to this conundrum, if current news is true.)

Anyway, I'm still planning on posting content-- I have so much content saved up from all the time I couldn't actually post, and it would be a shame to let it go to waste. Plus, I'll finally have those Russian recipes, what with my newfound extended access to a kitchen. Got a spiffy new cookbook and everything.

However, I thought I would leave several Russia-related notes before I fly to the US (and probably create a sleep-deprived post about "One 12 Time Zone Change and 13 Hours of Travel Later):

1) Be aware that the rules of the Russian road are far different than those in the US. I saw two cars (one in which I was a passenger) nearly hit the same old woman within an one-minute period when she was walking in an alleyway with no sidewalk. Additionally, being on the sidewalk doesn't make you safe, as I personally nearly got hit by two cars while walking on the far right of the sidewalk-- it was rush hour, and rather than, I don't know, wait in traffic, Russians like to create their own fast lane.

2) Be aware of where you're flying to, and what the rules are. For example, I spent the last couple of nights panicking over Customs rules and regulations, looking at the rules for flying through Moscow, and wishing that I didn't have to go through Customs so many times. Be prepared, and have your things in such a way that having to go by the rules doesn't make your life difficult-- important things should be easy for you to access, while also being easy for you to lock down. Keep calm, and be observant.

Anyways, I had far more earlier today, but seeing as I'm on the tail end of an adrenaline high (SO MUCH EXCITEMENT), that's all for now. I'm sure there'll be a description of flying through Moscow and Russian airport experiences tomorrow.

Churches in Review: Epic Photo Time

I've had a dilemma: I've seen many a church while I've been out here, but I haven't gone in; and thus, I can't really comment on their interior, or give a great review. So, instead, I'm saying that these churches are all really awesome to look at, and are oftentimes really close to other things that you would want to see.

And I'm dumping them all in an album, so you can see how shiny and pretty they are, and decide that you want to see them. Or not. No counting for tastes.

Epic Church Time

Museum Review: Academy of Artists

Okay, so I'll be the first to admit that when I first got to this museum, I didn't have my hopes very high. I mean, sure, it COULD be interesting, but nine chances out of ten, I was going to be bored silly; I had no idea what kind of art they would show, how the inside of the museum would look, etc.

Well, I am SO happy to say that my expectations were proven to be wrong. The Museum of Artists, after a rocky start, turned out to be AMAZING. The first part of the museum was Russian Neorealism-- which, I'll admit, could be hit or miss-- but they had this AWESOME section on Soviet politics, of which I took a bunch photos. Then they had maps, drawings of buildings... I was rather pleased.

Then there's the actual building itself. The Academy of Artists is located in an actual palace-- that's the reason why the building normally stands out on most tourist maps. One of the rooms in the Neorealist art section is actually dedicated to an artist named Titan; his paintings cover massive panels on the walls, and are rather awesome to look at.

Statues, older artwork, newer artwork... This museum made me rather happy. Worth noting is the modern Russian artwork; you have no idea how hard I laughed (internally) when I saw a painting of a hockey game sitting in a museum. Ah, Russia....

Academy of Artists

Museum Review: The Museum of the Secret Police and the Popov Museum of Communications

Now, looking at the title of this post, one might ask, why on earth would two such drastically different museums be clumped together in one post?

The answer, of course, is that Princess and I visited these museums the same day. And lord almighty, was THAT a paranoia inducing experience.

The first museum we saw was the Museum of the Secret Police. I have no pictures, nor would they be strictly-speaking necessary; the museum set-up itself wasn't very impressive. What made this museum unique, however, is that they give a very realistic impersonation of how it would feel to be hunted down by the Russian secret police.

And no, they didn't do this on purpose.

The security in this museum was absolutely ridiculous-- it overshadowed the entire experience. Putting it mildly, the tour guide wasn't there to explain things to us-- she was there to make sure we didn't accidentally trip any of the security measures. You would see something fascinating-- a hand grenade used by secret agents; the old-fashioned uniform; a cool, high-tech watch like in the James Bond films, except something that was actually used by agents-- and if you were to lean forward, even, to get a better look, the tour guide would rush over and urge, "Back away! You almost tripped the sensors!" One time, I was four inches away from the display case, but I was wearing my jacket open and the button brushed against the case; the lady acted as if the world was about to end.

The best moment of all in the museum was when Princess and I entered the room housing a replica of the Secret Police's quarters during their foundation; before we even walked in, the tour guide quickly jumped over and explained, "Be careful-- if you lean against any part of this wall, you'll trip the sensors." Princess and I seriously wondered if leaning against the wall would cause the entire building to explode in self-defense; and especially after we heard the tour guide talking about acts done by the Secret Police in response to their American counterparts, we decided it would probably be best if we fled. Which we promptly did.

Take that, and compare it to the Popov Museum of Communications: open, kid-friendly, interactive. Sure, we got glared at and even yelled at for having forgotten to take off our coats; but the exhibits were really cool, they had a great layout, great examples, and the entire experience was fun.

So, for the first time ever, I do NOT recommend a museum (the Museum of the Secret Police), though I do highly recommend the Museum of Communications. I'm a person who normally doesn't have the attention span for museums such as this; so if I found it interesting, if you're a person actually INTERESTED in communications, it should be like paradise.

I emerge, victorious!

With packing done, essays written, arrangements arranged, and the waiting having already begun, I emerge victoriously from these last two weeks. My time in Russia soon comes to an end; but before it does, you bet I've got some great things to comment on.

For example, I know now why Russians always wear hats (ice in your hair is incredibly annoying); I can recommend different museums, point out different churches, and debate about my favorite palaces; leave behind a fan club in Judo ("Where is my American girl?") and get to look forward to impressing people with the slight decrease in my skills of face-planting.

All-in-all, it's been a great experience, and while it didn't go as smoothly or as perfectly as I would have hoped, I've definitely grown as a person from my time here. (Or shrunk, depending on if you're looking at my horizons or my waistline.)

So, without further ado, I set myself to reviewing things I should have reviewed weeks ago.

A Note on Russian Winter

Warning: This is a really long post.

I know I give the Russian winter a pretty bad rap-- I'm complaining about it all the time-- but I saw something today that made me pause to think not just about the Winter, but about life in general.

As I was walking home, there was a couple carting this huge dog across the snow by a harness. They were lifting the dog's front legs off the ground as it stumble

d through the snow on its back legs; both of its front legs were stiffly out in front of it, and it was obvious that one of its paws were injured.

As they reached a thick patch of snow, the couple gently put the dog down, and it gingerly stood in the snow, its leg twitching away from the cold but still standing. The couple started cheering when the dog began limping around in the snow, putting its injured paw in the cold before lurching around again.

As much as the snow can be an annoyance-- it's cold, wet, and slippery-- the snow can be helpful, and healing, too. I should have remembered this from the time that I stupidly partially collapsed another two knuckles (yes, I hit a punching bag wrong)-- Russians don't have ice, or ice packs in their freezers, and I knew that I needed to ice my hand down when I noticed how much my knuckles were swelling. I shoved my hand in every readily accessible patch of clean, fresh snow that I could find; and my hand healed within a day or two, as opposed to the week it took me when I was back home.

Point is, for every hardship that you come up against-- whether it be snow, a bad experience, or life's normal drama-- everything always has good to go with the bad. You just have to look for it, and use what could be a nuisance as something to help.

Random musings while waiting on hold to cancel a flight

Two minutes in: Huh, the music's been improved.... Aerosmith. Better than NORMAL elevator music....

Five minutes in: Ever listen to what they say when you're waiting? I normally don't pay attention, but suddenly, the announcer voice went, "Many of the customer questions we receive are common, and can be answered on the website." I'm sitting here, thinking, "Well, THAT'S not insulting your customer base at all..." I mean, imagine you're sitting on hold for hours, and over and over again, you hear, "Many customer questions are common, and you don't need to talk to us." It's just like, "Oh, you're probably not intelligent to look at our website first-- never mind that you probably found our number off our website."

Six minutes in: Song change. And it's nowhere near as catchy as the Aerosmith. Sigh.

Seven minutes in: Sometimes, I wonder if the Expedia people even take into consideration that you've typed your itinerary number. Like, why type it in if you're just going to have to reconfirm it? And if you know my itinerary number, why would you tell me about hotels when I'm working on cancelling a flight? Wouldn't it be nice if these things were more personalized?

Eight minutes in: I wonder who the genius was who decided that if you have a relatively mellow song with a mildly catchy beat, it'll placate the customers and make them calmer when they have to talk to you. It doesn't matter what you play; and, in fact, normally, the laid back tune and catchy beat just serves to infuriate them. You might as well play "Down With The Sickness" and screamo metal-- we're probably going to be irritated either way.

Nine and three quarters minutes in: Officially, these announcements have GOT to be just so that the company doesn't think you've accidentally dialed into a radio station. Seriously, half of the stuff that they announce like it's going to be helpful is really simple, intuitive stuff-- like check in to your flight 24 hours ahead of time, you can find your information online, and the AIRLINE confirms your seat assignment. Well, yes, that's how I would assume it would work, as the airline is the one who actually CONTROLS the flight....

Eleven and a half minutes in: Listening to "Come Fly With Me" while waiting to cancel a flight is the best thing ever, in terms of irony.

Result of being on hold?

There is nothing more delicious than a full refund. Maybe I shall tolerate these "on hold" practices after all...

Museum Review: Three Temporary Exhibitions at the Peter and Paul Fortress

This review is going to rely a bit on "you're going to just have to believe me", as opposed to my normal method of "LOOK AT ALL THE SHINY STUFF".

The first time that Princess and I went to the Peter and Paul Fortress, we ended up hitting up three temporary exhibits. The main difference between these and the normal ones?

1) The magical student ID card only gets you a discount;

2) The exhibitions can be slightly shorter, but tend to delve further into a topic; and

3) The topic is either a) far more gruesome, or b) far more fanciful than any reasonable adult would want to go every time they went to this museum for free. 

Oh, and obviously,

4) These exhibitions are temporary.

Now, I did mention that these exhibits can be either far too gruesome, or far too fanciful. And the reason I describe it thusly is that two of the exhibitions that Princess and I saw were so gruesome, we couldn't bring ourselves to take pictures, and the other was so fanciful that I took pictures of EVERYTHING even though there was only a room and a half.

The first two: A history of torture in St. Petersburg (definitely a light, cheery subject), and Peter the Great's museum of genetic mutations (literally rooms of babies in jars).

The last?

HIDDEN DRAGONS.

Now, I don't know about you, but I love me some animatronic dragons. Add dragon-themed interactive games to the mix, and I'm as happy as a five year old with its parents' credit card in a candy story.

So, to give you a sense of how awesome the dragon-themed exhibition was (because, again, I do not have pictures of the other two, nor do I feel inclined to describe the different methods of torture in Russia/dead babies and the effects of deadly diseases), here is a link to the photo album. Yay shiny animatronic dragons!

Dragon Exhibition 

Now, the important thing: Would I recommend going to any of these exhibits?

Yes. Definitely. They were quite informative, and generally well-put together, though some exhibits within the exhibition were obviously meant or Russian audiences only.

Would I recommend going to two depressing ones in the same day?

Only if there are shiny dragons at the end of the tunnel.