A couple of rules to keep in mind while staying in St. Petersburg

Earlier today, I was wondering how much more popular my blog would look if I was the kind of tourist that some exchange students tend to be. For example:

It was insane! Today I found out a Dr. Pepper in Russia is rum, cherries, lime juice and Pepsi! They don't have Dr. Peppers in Russia, isn't that funny? That's my cultural fact for today, because I spend all my time in bars. And it's my life-long goal to hang out with the Mafia. And dress like the Mafia. And I found out how to buy an UZI in Russia! Forget about museums, or theaters-- bars and gun shops all the way. Man, learning about culture is great, right? 

-Anonymous student

However, upon considering that option for a grand total of thirty milliseconds, I decided that I would feel like I was selling my soul; and after wondering how much brain trauma would be required in order to pursue such an approach in the first place, I am now presenting to you several rules of NORMAL tourism in Saint Petersburg that are somewhat worth keeping in mind.

Rule number 1: Remember when the off-days are.

An interesting linguistic tidbit: In Russia, weekends are called "выходные дни"; however, this term is also used to describe off-days of businesses, even if they happen to not occur on the actual weekends. Thus, if you're thinking of, oh, I don't know, seeing the St. Isaac's Cathedral, and it's a Wednesday, you should know ahead of time that the museum part of the Cathedral will be closed. (Not that that totally happened today or anything.) Or that the really cool looking History of Religion Museum across the street from the Post Office is also closed. (Not that that happened today, too. Have I mentioned that there's a really cool looking History of Religion Museum across the street from the Post Office?) Most of the museums, in fact, are closed on Wednesdays: Peterhof, the Hermitage, the Russian Museum... Just keep in mind that off-days won't necessarily be when you expect them to in Russia.

Rule number 2: Never be afraid to ask.

So, this might come as a total surprise, but today, I happened to be at the Post Office. Not that Princess and I were planning on actually going into the St. Isaac's Cathedral (or Princess had drummed up some mighty fine research on the Cathedral and everything surrounding it), but we totally walked by the St. Isaac's Cathedral, went through some history that Princess just so happened to have on-hand, and went to the Post Office. (I'm sorry, but to admit that yet another tourism fail has just occurred would pain my soul, just because of how often it happens. Accepting you have a problem is supposed to be the first step...)

Anyhow, when we finally reached the Post Office, I realized that I had absolutely no idea how I was going to send my paperwork to Spain. You see, after putting off sending my paperwork for next semester for two days, I finally decided to bite the bullet and actually send everything today. Only problem? My memory on the brief lesson about the Russian postal system is hazy, at best; we covered Russian addresses and everything in one day, exactly, with one homework problem where we had to fill out a fake address with an example of a Russian envelope literally sitting in front of us. Homework problems from over a year ago are no match for having to do the real thing.

However, I noticed that there was an information window, and upon going over there, I was directed not only how to buy an envelope for sending something to Spain, snail mail (which I learned was not actually what I wanted to do, one envelope and a stamp later), but how to send my documents to Spain via carrier (which, hopefully, means that they will get there faster). Everyone was very understanding and patient as I struggled to get all the information needed (it's a problem when you don't know your address or phone number), and after a little while, I had successfully sent off my documents using the Russian carrier system.

Point of the story?

Most of the time, if you need help doing something in Russia, there really are Russian people who want to help. You might not be able to understand the majority of what they say; but as long as you're appreciative and patient, normally people will respond well to that and do their best to help you out. At the very least, you can't be any worse off than before you asked. 

And, finally, 

Rule number 3: Be prepared for anything when riding or in the metro.

I know that I mentioned travelling salesmen in Russia once, during my post "Hide your shame"; however, it's not only salesmen hawking wares that wander through the subway cars. Musicians playing for tips, the saddest looking invalids walking on legs that are no more than stumps... There are so many people walking through the subway begging for money, both those who do it by choice and those who can do nothing else, that it's important to always keep poised and not react to them. Whenever I see these people, I wish that I had spare change in my pocket to give them; but I never dare give them money, not because I think that they should go get a job (especially not the double-amputees that are, unfortunately, very common on the streets of Russia), but because I don't want to take the risk of pulling my wallet out in the middle of a large group of people, much less have people see where I keep it when I put it back. If you're the kind of person who enjoys giving to the less fortunate, then I would advise keeping some small change on your person at all times; otherwise, you risk making yourself a prime target for being mugged. (I wouldn't think this was such a big issue if it weren't for the fact that both of the other students on this program from my University have had their phones stolen-- no big deal, but it's the only thing both of them tend to keep in an easily accessible place.)

Additionally, when waiting around at the metro, be aware that you're going to get some fantastic people-watching in. I'm not talking about Russian couples-- I personally try NOT to see those-- but other interesting people, such as:

1. The group of men I saw walking out of the metro dressed in solid black, wearing bullet-proof vests; one of them had a pistol bound to his leg, the other was literally carrying an automatic weapon in his hand;
2. The old lady who, upon seeing her friend in the metro, started literally jumping up and down like a teenage girl talking to her best friend about her crush;
3. The rather overweight but short lady who was wearing a long black poncho with orange triangles on the bottom, which made her look like a jellyfish as she walked;
4. All of the fantastic trench coats and shoes that Russian women wear (yes, I had to comment on that; waiting is torturous when you don't have an infinite coinpurse); and
5. The lady who approached me today trying to offer me a job.

Like I said, there are plenty of people to see-- and, additionally, the metro stations themselves are gorgeous.

Every metro station has its own theme, and is absolutely gorgeous inside-- marble pillars, statues, mosaics, stained glass windows. Only one problem, though: photography is prohibited in the metro stations. Not entirely sure why, but that's a recent development, and if you take pictures and get caught, the fine is about $100. (I only know this because I googled it the other night, as Princess and I had taken a couple of photos [since we didn't know about this rule] and then someone said it was illegal. Yeah, turns out that the other person was totally right.) 

So, when you're down in the metro, enjoy the scenery, but don't take photos of it. A picture is worth a thousand words, but not $100.